Dubious messages from the "Wrong Sort" on POF

Hello there, the following are the dubious messages I've received from the 'Wrong Sort'  on the "Plenty Of Fish" (POF) dating website.

I've included replies I would LOVE to have sent ....but alas, I was brought up too well, to risk upsetting, or more likely, confusing people.

....below in chronological order....newest at the top so that if you return here you won't need to trawl all the way to the bottom for the latest pearls of wisdom from the POF loonies

Here we go:-

From: ********** Sent Date:1/4/2012 9:06:22 AM

Subject: not expecting a reply

imnot relly expectig a reply but thort id try....i kinda have a foot fetish and wonderd if you would be intrested in having your feet worshiped

Ohh, now then flower......you want to "worship" my feet? Well, far be it from me to come between a man and his religious beliefs. I feel I should only encourage your need for worship, and as such, shall offer up my right foot as an object of religious deification......no touching now!

Subject: Hi From:UpFor******** Sent Date: 1/5/2012 12:11:14 AM

      

Babe, im going to get straight to the point Your pic is soooo sexy, you look just stunning in it! Theres so many things going through my head right now that i wanna do to you As its a new year, am looking for sexy new women to enjoy 2012 with and i think your pefect :D Message back if your interested :D x XX

First off, you called me "Babe" which in Jenny-world is tantamount to challenging me to a duel...or at the very least, a rather aggressive game of tiddly winks with no eye protection. Then you claim you are going to get "straight to the point".....and proceed to beat about the bush....really .....if you want me to touch your 'dirty gerbil' (copyright Lesism) then declare it now or forever hold your peace....or should that be piece ....for I shall not be venturing within infection distance of said item.
Hmmmmm wonder which picture is "soooooooo sexy".....must be the one of Jim the security guard.
I look "Stunning" in it......damn, rumbled, thought I'd hidden that taser gun so well in the bicycle inner tube.
Ahhh so there are "so many things going through (your) head right now" ...I'm guessing those things probably don't include..."She looks like a nice woman, I'd really like to chat and get to know her and have a mutually enjoyable conversation about poetry, the arts, mountain biking, philosophy and the relative merits of corn-based snacks" ...or have I got you completely wrong?.....
erm no......next line confirms it......
oh dear, oh dear, oh dear....
Copy and Paste, such a useful feature on a PC don't you think folks?
Guys, thank (the non-existent deity) that 99.9% of you fellas aren't like this, or  have the decency to hide it for a while, at least until you get to know how many sugars we have in tea and where we went to school..... ;o)